Mid-March Melee

It was Mother’s Day here in the UK last Sunday, so I went up to visit my parents for the weekend, which was all very lovely and nice and what-have-you. Of course being the efficient fellow that I am, I also planned a rendezvous with Ian on the Saturday afternoon so that I could indulge in a craving.

Well, two cravings I guess.

I don’t know what it is, but recently I’ve had an urge to play some Warhammer 40,000, and I have no idea why. Ian was happy to oblige and he provided miniatures, dice, scenery, the whole works. We just wanted a quick game, so we went with 1,000 points, Dark Angels vs. Orks. I’d specifically asked him the week before if we could play 4th edition rules, which was the last time I’d played; I didn’t really want to have to deal with the whole mess of psychic phases, challenges, and flyers that current 40k has become.

That didn’t go as planned unfortunately.

I took the Lokorsts, and Ian took the Dangles.

The painted stuff.
The painted Lokorsts of Waaagh! RAAM. Shoota Boyz, Grots, a Looted Wagon, and Warboss. Unfortunately Ian had misplaced his converted Orky RAAM model!
… aaaaand the work in progress stuff. Bladeless Deff Koptas and ghost-driven Warbikes.
Ravenwing Captain on a flashy bike. Ian usually uses this model as a Librarian, but neither of us could remember the 4th edition Dark Angel Codex psychic powers. DURRRR.
Because *of course* he took some Deathwing.
DA Devastators. Ian’s converted their heavy weapons so that they can be represent flashy-looking missile launchers, or stubby lascannons.
Man, Azrael is gonna be pissed when he finds out that Sergeant stole his hat.

We had no mission in mind; just line up and blast each other to bits.

I can’t remember exactly what we had, but it was something like…

Waaagh! RAAM

  • Warboss with power klaw, kombi-skorcha, ‘eavy armour, cybork body, attack squig.
  • 20 ‘Ard Boyz with shootas, 2 w/ big shootas + Nob with power klaw and bosspole.
  • 20 Grots + Runtherd with grot prodda.
  • 5 Warbikers + Nob with power klaw.
  • 5 Deff Koptas.
  • Looted Wagon with boomgun, two big shootas, ‘ard case, grot riggers, and armour plating.

Strike Force Amael

  • Captain with bike and power sword.
  • 5 Deathwing Terminators; mix of power fists, assault cannon, thunder hammer, power sword, storm bolters.
  • 5 Ravenwing Bikers, 2 w/ melta-guns + Sergeant with power fist.
  • 6 Tactical Marines, 1 w/ melta-gun + Sergeant with power fist.
  • 6 Tactical Marines, 1 w/ melta-gun + Sergeant with power fist.
  • 7 Devastators, 4 w/ missile launchers + Sergeant with signum.

Yeah, my hopes weren’t high. But anyway, we deployed and got down to it.

The hellish landscape of Tabel D’Ner.


Ian used his e-cigarette to add some butterscotch-scented atmosphere.

The game was mercilessly short. Ian ran the Ravenwing forward and perfect deep-striked the Deathwing who caused all kinds of merry hell. Meanwhile my Looted Wagon ate a trio of krak missiles, and then met its end as it trundled, weaponless and desperate, straight into a Ravenwing Biker’s melta-gun. Whoops.

My Shoota Boys and Grots tried to drown the Deathwing under weight of fire, with some success. Then I sent the Grots in, because even the little guns like a good punch-up.

Just one of those bone-white bastards costs almost as much as the entire Grot mob.

Meanwhile the Deff Koptas tried (and failed) to dislodge the Devastators, and flew for home after being force-fed krak missiles. In response, my Warbikers swung round and rompastomped a whole squad of Angels.

My Warboss and the ‘Ard Boyz went to go get stuck in with the Ravenwing, and it went okay… sort of. My Warboss got chopped up by the Captain, my Orks dragged down the Bikers, and it turned into a miserable scrum as my Orks, their momentum spent, couldn’t drag the Captain off his bike.

“Oh boy, 6s to wound! Hurray!” – Me, sarcastically.

My Bikers got gunned down, then the Deathwing polished off the Grots – well, more accurately the Runtherd’s squig-hound polished off the Grots – and waded in to help the Captain, and then it was pretty much a foregone conclusion.

Gosh, I sure am I glad I played 40k again. 

All that said, it was a laugh. It got Ian and I talking about a long-running project we’ve been meaning to do; a sort of homebrewed ruleset of 40k, blending and mixing our favourite bits from different editions to make a smaller skirmish version, similar to the scale to Dawn of War 2. We may work on that in the next few months and playtest it, and post our stuff up on here. Who knows?

We then spent the rest of the afternoon playing Sentinels of the Multiverse. Ian hadn’t played it before, so I was keen to show it off. We played four games; Ra and Bunker vs. Baron Blade in the Insula Primalis (we won), Haka and Tachyon vs. Omnitron in Megalopolis (we won), Wraith and Fanatic vs. Warlord Voss at the Wagner Mars Base (we won), and Legacy and Tempest vs. Citizen Dawn in the Ruins of Atlantis.

That didn’t go quite as well.

Urgh, fuck Citizen Dawn. I even tried a solitaire game later that day with Wraith, Tempest, and Absolute Zero against her (again in the Ruins of Atlantis), and I lost again!

absolute zero
More like Absolute Liability.


Dawn remains an elusive foe for me in Sentinels, the only one I had not yet defeated. Maybe I just need some backup in the form of new heroes… I do have a craving for the Rook City expansion.

So three cravings then.

Man, I don’t know about you but I could really go for some McNuggets right about now.



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