Our D&D sessions are on hiatus at the moment as some of us (i.e. all of us) work extra hours to get plenty of tasty overtime money ready for the Christmas spending spree. That doesn’t mean we haven’t managed to get some gaming done; Pandemic, Coup and Palazzo are all new favourites at my table, and I recently picked up the Desolation of Smaug expansion for Cryptozoic’s Hobbit deckbuilding game, which has been great fun.
I’m sure I’ve mentioned before that I still like occasionally checking out the main Games Workshop page to look at shiny new models. Most of these are really, really good…
And others… not so much.
But with all these new models for shiny new things, it seems like some stuff that sorely needs updating keeps getting pushed back and back. For example, Chaos players have been calling for a plastic Obliterator kit for years. And plastic Greater Daemons. And plastic Havocs. And plastic Cult Marines. And… well, look, Chaos players need a lot of love, okay?
So what models need new shiny updates in my opinion? Well I’d be happy to tell you…
10 – Chaos Furies
Man, I remember a time when Furies were amazing. This was back in the heady days of the 3.5 edition Chaos Codex, before The Great Loss, when GW went “DURRR Chaos Marines and Daemons should be different armies!”. My old Word Bearers army ran a full pack of ten, and they were a cheap and surprisingly choppy suicide squad (WS 5, Initiative 5 and 2 Attacks if I recall). I loved ‘em. You know what I didn’t love? Gluing twenty chunky metal wings into tiny slots! I was/am a lazy modeller, and I had/have no patience for all this fiddly stuff like pinning, green stuffing, and so on. My Furies lost wings in transport, or even in mid-game. These guys are no longer popular, which is a shame. GW could easily relaunch these guys as a cool updated plastic kit with better rules.
9 – Fiends of Slaanesh
Another Daemon. That model is really old. The Fiends are models that have been around since the 90s, a trait shared with many of the models on this list. They’ve never been updated to plastic, which seems a shame for such cool, weird and creepy models. I’d love to see these guys be redesigned to look more dynamic and come as one of those “2-in-1″ kits that GW do these days, enabling you to make Fiends and some brand-new type of daemonic beast.
8 – Verminlord
Ah, the classic incarnation of the feral cunning of the Horned Rat. Tremble, mortals of the Old World, for your doom approaches! Oh, wait, he’s the same size as a normal Rat Ogre? Oh. Hmm. Yeah, like another entry further down this list, Vermy hasn’t aged too well when it comes to scale. He’s technically a Greater Daemon, he should be towering over everything! Forge World have make a badass Exalted version, but that’s like having to use An’Grath instead of a normal – and cheaper – Bloodthirster model. Nice new big impressive plastic kit please!
7 – Avatar of Khaine
Last daemon, I promise! Now, the Avatar is pure sex as a model (Jes Goodwin, go figure), but again, it doesn’t measure up to well to recent models. It’s hard to envision him as an incarnate space-elf god of war when his fancy hat is the only thing making him bigger than Chapter Master Smashface the Generic. Again, old Bloodyhand here is desperate for a nice new plastic kit similar in scale to the recent Wood Elf Treeman kit so that he can loom over all the puny mortals that are so eager to have some face-time with the Wailing Doom.
6 – Ork Warboss
Aside from the plastic Warbosses in Black Reach and Stormclaw, these two are the only options Ork players have had for a Warboss for nearly 15 years now. That’s simply ridiculous. Where’s the big Ork Warboss kit with tons of weapon options and bits, like the Space Marine Commander or Chaos Lord set?
And while I’m on the subject of Orks…
5 – Ork Warbuggy
Look, GW, I’m happy you finally updated the Ork Trukk… but couldn’t you have updated the old Warbuggy and Wartrakk while you were at it? I mean… look at it. The Orks are 2nd edition, pre-Brian Nelson style, i.e. not what Orks look like anymore. Urgh. Thank Gork that Ork players are usually creative enough to find or make alternatives.
4 – Eldar Jetbikers
Eldar and jetbikes are two of the coolest things in Warhammer 40,000. So why has that winning combination not been updated? Like the Warbuggy, this is a 2nd edition model that no longer matches the modern aesthetic of its faction. To be blunt, Eldar Guardians don’t look like that anymore, and haven’t for a significant amount of time. Plus, there’s the rider’s dull pose. He looks like he’s having a relaxed tootle around the block, not dodging bullets in a battle. That’s not a jetbiker. These are jetbikers.
3 – Ragnar Blackmane
Let’s talk special characters. A lot of 40k special character models are still the same as they’ve been since the 90s; Mephiston, Dante, Azrael, Ahriman, Eldrad… all sculpted by Jes Goodwin, I might add. For the most part, they’ve managed to stand the test of time. Unfortunately there are a few that haven’t.
I mean, Ragnar’s still a cool model, but he doesn’t exactly scream “bloody-handed slayer” does he? That pose – the Goodwin Slouch, as I’ve decided to name it – is the same pose used for a lot of 90s GW models. It works on Mephiston, because the guy is a regal, composed Chief Librarian with the mother of all popped collars. It works on Fabius Bile, because he’s a cunning, diabolical scientist who leaves the fisticuffs to his genetically-enhanced murdermachines. On Ragnar though? He’s meant to be a dynamic hothead, a guy who charges in, kicks ass, and takes names. His model is sterile and lifeless, and GW missed a chance to update him for the recent Space Wolf Codex. Of course, after seeing what they did to Logan, maybe it’s for the best.
On the plus side, when Googling to get the above picture of Ragnar, I saw some amazing conversions using Kor’sarro Khan and Gabriel Seth as the base model, so something positive there.
2. Abaddon the Despoiler
Aaah, Abaddon. That model is glorious, but it falls into the same sort of trap that the Vermin Lord and Avatar do; compared to modern-day Terminators, Abaddon is just a wee bit on the short side! Plus his own proportions look a bit off; the funny thing is that if he took his hair out of that topknot, he could cosplay as grimdark red-haired Rapunzel. Dude needs a fresh sculpt; a fancy scenic base, a dead Marine in his clutches… I don’t know. It would nicely capitalise on the popular new Talon of Horus by Aaron Dembski-Bowden though.
And at the very top of my list…
1 – Battle Sisters. Just, like, all the Battle Sisters
Yeah, technically that’s not one model. But hear me out!
For a long time, people were worried that the Sisters would go the way of the Squats, gradually falling further and further out of the spotlight until they could be quietly disposed of. It’s a shame, because the Sisters have a large and vocal fanbase. Why? Because they’re an army of pyromaniac warrior nuns!
I love the Sisters. One of the last armies I ran when I played 40k was a proxied Sisters army that ran Celestine, three Exorcists, and as many full-size Sister squads as I could manage. Did it win? Not really. Did I have fun with Acts of Faith? Absolutely!
I can see the problem why Sisters aren’t popular to the mainstream crowds; all the models are Finecast and thus expensive. No one buys them, so they’re not deemed popular enough for a reboot, so they don’t get new stuff and their models remain expensive and difficult to acquire. Then again, the Grey Knights exploded out of nowhere with a powerful new Codex and two excellent multipurpose plastic infantry kits and firmly established themselves as a “proper” faction, maybe the Sisters could do the same! You could have three really good kits for Celestians/Retributors, Seraphim, and normal Battle Sisters, and suddenly bam! The Sisters are back in the spotlight and getting attention and sales again! Sororitas players have been crying out for plastic Sisters (and a proper Codex) for years! Come on GW, give the Sisters some love! Do it, and I promise I may consider getting back into 40k…
That’s my thoughts, but what models do you think need updating?